"My lads," said Swithin, "are the best there is. It's not their fault they're up against better people. They never gets a chance to play someone they can beat." -- Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals
Well Carolina got their chance to play someone they can beat, and it still wasn't very pretty. While I was heartened by the 42-12 score I couldn't witness in person, Michael Felders' comments (thanks again) quickly disabused of any optimism. Two of the Heels touchdowns were scored by the defense, and two others were gifts from that same defense when they forced turnovers in the Georgia Southern red zone. The offense managed two sustained drives, and accomplished absolutely nothing in the second have, turning the ball over three times and giving up a safety. I think EDSBS put it best:
This year, that dream comes true, because while the UNC defense is nigh indestructible, the UNC offense has no claws, teeth, venom, or tenacity to speak of, and subsists off grubby field goals and punts it finds discarded on the ground. And like armadilloes, many larger, more toothsome predators consider them more "food on the half-shell" than "hopelessly well-armored anti-snack."
This, of course, makes next Thursday's game against FSU the most fascinating thing to come along in the ACC in quite some time. Because the general consensus has settled on the fact that however bad UNC is, Florida State has it worst. And their worse in a particularly exciting way – they're the worst defense in the conference. They're 108th in the nation. And they have twelve days to prepare for the Carolina offense that can't shoot straight. I fully expect Tomahawk Nation to be in full meltdown mode by that point.
Midnight Madness tomorrow aside, it's just too early for me to dive into basketball at the exclusion of everything else. Is it sad that the biggest entertainment I have in college sports this month is an impending train wreck of epic proportions? That UNC could plausibly win?