You brazen hussy.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the paper yesterday to read your little reference to infidelity. Just an innocent little put down to a reporter. Like you didn't know.

You think you're specia? State's been losing to Carolina in Chapel Hill for what, eight straight years?That's not a relationship. That's a fling. We've been losing in Chapel Hill for fifty-five years. That's a relationship. That's a foundation. That's something real.

And now? Now they won't even let us come to Chapel Hill some years. It's all, "Oh, we just don't have room for you on the schedule," and "You can come by next season." But their hot new thing? You'll they'll beat every year. And they take such pleasure in it.

Stop it. Just stop it. It's our job to go to up to UNC every year and have our spirits crushed. Just like a marriage should be. Find your own futile hill to fail to climb. Try losing to Wake. Leave us our thing. Please.

Back off,

The Clemson Tigers.