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Joe Ovies Tapped To Oversee Fan Bases

RALEIGH(THF)-In a surprise move on Wednesday, Governor Mike Easley tapped 850 the Buzz radio personality and blogger Joe Ovies for the newly created position, Director of Fan Base Animosity. Governor Easley created the new cabinet level post by executive order on Wednesday, citing the state's need to ensure the rivalries between local college fan bases remain strong.

"Our local college teams are a source of great entertainment for North Carolina citizens and the fires of hatred which exist between the fans of these teams must remain strong," said Easley, "With the weakened state of the athletic department at NC State, we need to be sure that feelings of sympathy do not creep into the hearts of ECU, UNC and Duke fans. I firmly believe Mr Ovies can effectively prevent this from happening."

Along with his duties as chief enforcer of the local rivalries, Ovies will also be using his acerbic wit to take critical shots at the prominent coaches and players to stir the passions of the respective fan bases further. Easley said that having fans in North Carolina frothing at the mouth over their respective schools will lead to increases sales for local business specializing in team paraphernalia as well as an uptick in business for sports bars and ticket sales for home games.

"We firmly believe if we can get people angry and passionate about their teams they will spend money like there is no tomorrow. Mr Ovies has clearly shown a talent in arousing these kind of passions and should meet the Governor's goals fairly handily." said a spokesman for Governor Easley's office.

Critics of the new post call it a waste of state resources and say such things are best left in the private sector. Some lawmakers in the General Assembly also express misgivings that the new appointed director will be unduly critical of one school over another. When asked about any possible bias Mr Ovies my have, the Governor's spokesman simply laughed and said,

"There is no danger of that, Joe Ovies hates everyone's posse."

Right back at you, Joe.