At least their internet access, which is apparently transmitted by telegraph, and for which I'm paying an exorbinant twelve dollar a day for the privlege.
This means that I'm unable to write about Kentwan Balmer for Niners Nation at the moment, or Connor Barth for any Chiefs fans who happen to be aware he's been signed. Nor can I speculate wildly about the NCAA rules Barack Obama may have brought down upon the Heels by playing a little pickup ball. Or worry about the fact that the Gamecocks are trying to poach Sylvia Hatchell. Come on, you don't want to coach on a court with that giant, maroon state on it, do you?
But if that's not enough to worry about, you can add the fact that UNC's athletic success may not be increasing the university's place in the world. A new study reported by Inside Higher Ed says that male alumni of collegiate teams give more to the university when their former teams win conference championships, but that overal donations are down when football and men's basketball teams are more successful. Of course, as others have pointed out, the school in question is almost certainly Princeton, and probably shouldn't be applied outside of New Jersey. Sorry, Duke.
And hey! Larry Brown finally got that Carolina coaching gig he's always wanted!