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When The #$*& Hit The Fan In Columbus Gene Smith Called Dick Baddour?

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Yes, really. Via CBS Sports Bryan Fischer:

Now, as puzzling as this is I am sure there are reasonable explanations as to why Smith called Baddour. For example Baddour is going through his own NCAA trouble at UNC so Smith is calling for advice/sympathetic ear/to be talked off a ledge. But I have zero interest in those explanations because they are lies. This is the internet and we all know the ABC message boards and blogs are going to do the real heavy intellectual lifting on this one so allow me scoop them and explain what is really happening here.

Butch Davis and Dick Baddour are currently engaged in a plan to ruin Ohio sports forever as revenge for Miami's loss to Ohio St. in the national title game.

Butch Davis was already in Cleveland and when the refs screwed Miami out of the 2002 national title versus Ohio St. No one screws with Butch's boy Larry Coker and gets away with it(except of course Butch Davis.) At that point Davis made contact with several figures of ill repute in Columbus to setup the whole equipment-for-tattoos scam. It was also during this time Davis basically said "screw it" and made every effort to run the Browns into the ground. Making the playoffs was just a clever ruse to throw people off his trail. When Davis got to UNC he apprised Baddour of the situation and Baddour used some of UNC's extensive Illuminati ties to entrap Tyrelle Pryor with loaner cars. Smith discovered all of this and called Baddour who laughed maniacally, hung up the phone and put on his gold chain.Where did he get the gold chain? You know all of those "gold pants" trinkets OSU players were pawning off? That's right, after years there were enough to melt them down and make Baddour's necklace.

The Master Planner

But it goes even deeper that that. Remember this? Butch Davis hanging out with World Wide Wes at the Bobcats game last year?

It is unclear when this was taken but what we do know if Davis and World Wide Wes are laughing it up when discussing Lebron James leaving Cleveland for Miami. See how this works. Ohio gets screwed. Lebron ends up in Miami where Davis used to be head coach. We are through the looking glass here people!

So you might ask why is the OSU stuff happening now? Geez...do I have to spell it out for you? Obviously Baddour and Davis executed the final steps of their plan now to draw attention away from UNC's NCAA troubles. In the process Jim Tressell got canned which was essentially a "hit job" on behalf of Larry Coker. The plan is not over yet. The next stage involves getting Larry Coker or possibly Randy Shannon hired as the head coach at Ohio St. where one of them can wreck that program the way he did Miami. In the end the NCAA has to go hard after OSU for all their violations and little attention is paid to UNC situation giving former Tar Heel Marcus Wilson the cover he needs to "take care" of the Heels situation.

Oh and Duke going to Ohio St. That was Baddour's doing too. Suckas!

Correction: Two items. Dick Baddour's necklace was not made from the OSU gold pants instead it was made from gold melted from coins given to Baddour by Drew Rosenhaus(dollar is weak ya'll) The necklace was melted down and crafted by children in Jennifer Wiley's elementary school class in a secret lair beneath the new Blue Zone.  Oh you thought they were just adding seats and luxury suites? Diabolical geniuses need lairs people!  Also, it is entirely possible Davis and World Wide Wes are discussing something totally different like the number of NCAA violations they have committed between UNC, Memphis and Kentucky or they have been reading Pack Pride on their smart phone.  As for the rest of it. Totally true.

I have sources.

Really.

I promise.

Side note: No need to explain the Mike Hamilton resignation from Tennessee right?