Cause of Marcus Paige's Shooting Slump Revealed

It has been four games since Marcus Paige dropped 30 points on Florida State which included hitting five three pointers. Since then, Paige's shot has completely left him and his confidence is beyond shaken. There have been many theories posited as to why Paige is struggling. Some have asked if he was injured again citing his struggles last season why dealing with plantar fasciitis. That doesn't seem to be the case since even injured last season, Paige shot the ball better than he is right now. It could simply be bad match-ups with UNC facing some taller perimeter defenders as was the case against Syracuse and  NC State.

All of those sound good but the crack research unit at THB has crunched the numbers and found Paige's shooting woes might very be tied to his hair. Since last season, through the summer and into January, Paige had let his hair grow. It was such a change in style and so similar to the Duke players from last season, Paige was asked about it at UNC's media day.

Whatever the case, the hair was working as Paige came back from injury on December 1st and lit Maryland up. From there he was consistent shooting the ball overall with the exception of a 2-9 outing versus UCLA in mid-December. On January 4th, Paige hit five thees and scored 30 points in the win over FSU which was overshadowed by Brice Johnson's 39 points and 23 rebounds. At some point in the intervening days between the win at FSU and the trip to Syracuse, Paige got a hair cut. The results have been a disaster as this graph shows(click on graph enlarge)

Correlation isn't causation you say?

Nonsense.

There are two steadfast rules about the internet. One, everything that appears on the internet is true and anything put into chart form is also true because science. Also, if we've learned anything from Mary Willingham it is you can throw random numbers together, ignore all manner of research protocol, produce some results and CNN will eat that stuff up like a dog in a bacon factory.

Like the Biblical character Sampson whose superhuman strength was tied to his hair, Paige's hairstyle has clearly impacted his shooting ability. When Sampson cut his hair, his strength left him as Paige's shooting touch vanished when he cut his. The good news is when Sampson's hair grew back his strength returned.  Another positive is we possess the technology in this day and age to foster accelerated hair growth so it shouldn't take long for Paige to grow his hair back.

He just needs to see the same people David Cutcliffe uses.

Disclaimer: Just so we are clear, this is a humor post.